Brooke Davis Would Never Do This
One Tree Hill, Season 10, Episode 1
Newsletter is late this week because I was out of town, and I genuinely have no idea what day it is. Also, a free newsletter will be in your inbox on Friday 👀.
SO much has happened this week, but one thing has really captured my attention…
If you don’t know, I have this dream about watching/writing/reading a WB-style teen drama about a soccer team à la Friday Night Lights and One Tree Hill where every character dates each other and something tragic happens every season that should cause years of trauma but is ignored after a four-episode arc. They wouldn’t have cell phones that connect to the internet or know what Twitter is, and they’d all live within walking distance of their high school and the local hang-out spot that doubles as a place where up-and-coming bands perform. It’s not a lot, but it’s my dream.
Is it a direct ripoff of every teen TV show that we grew up with? Who can really say? I’m just noticing a hole in the market!
Anyway, that is a very loose way of transitioning to talking about Sophia Bush (who played the one and only Brooke Davis on One Tree Hill) getting a divorce and dating a professional soccer player. A professional soccer player who happens to be a woman. A professional soccer player who happens to be a woman who is newly separated from her partner of ten years, who is also a professional soccer player (and beloved). It’s exactly like a plot line plucked right out of my favorite teen drama about two estranged half-brothers who were forced to play basketball on the same team while dealing with the trials and tribulations of being a teenager in their 30s.
WARNING: I don’t know anything about lesbian soccer lore, and I didn’t watch the last three seasons of One Tree Hill when they got old. I have learned everything from TikTok and Lesbian Correspondent™ Grace (thanks, Grace).
I briefly mentioned Sophia’s divorce in the breakup newsletter a few weeks ago, and after reading the People Magazine article, it feels obvious why their marriage ended so quickly. While Sophia and her ex Grant Hughes (lol I keep typing Hugh Grant), had been close friends for ten years, their romantic relationship didn’t begin until the pandemic, when there wasn’t a whole lot to do. Allegedly, they bonded over their shared experiences, passion for activism, and love of natural wine. And like most Covid relationships, it spiraled into a whirlwind that led them to get married in less than a year. As the world opened back up and their priorities changed, they grew apart, divorcing less than a year after their wedding ceremony.
Sophia’s new girlfriend, Ashlyn Harris, doesn’t really have such a tidy story. Ashlyn and her partner Ali Krieger, are both professional soccer players. They started dating in 2010 but kept their relationship private until they got engaged in 2019. After they got married, they adopted two children, and before the children turned two Ashlyn filed for divorce, stating that their marriage was “irretrievably broken.” …coincidentally, in the same month that Sophia and Grant split.
Unsurprisingly, in the year of Taylor, Beyonce and Barbie, fans were pissed. Ashlyn and Ali were the original* girl sports relationship. They won championships together. They represented the US at the Olympics together. They went to World Cups together. Things I know are a big deal now that I’ve watched Beckham. Losing their relationship was a shock to the women’s soccer league that has fans, players, family, and even local observers picking sides.
Against all odds, Sophia Bush is coming out relatively unscathed (so far). Most people are just thrilled she has a public girlfriend. But for Ashlyn, things aren’t looking that great.
Will Sophia and Ashlyn stay together? Find out on the next season of One Tree Hill!
*Getting conflicting reports from the stans
things that happened in pop culture this week that you should know about:
Author, Britney Spears. Today (or yesterday, depending on when I’m sending this out), Britney’s memoir “The Woman in Me” was released, so in the coming days we will be treated with many interesting tidbits from our favorite pop star. So far, we know two things:
1 ) Justin Timberlake is a piece of shit. Britney alleges in her book that she had an abortion in 2000 when the two were 20 years old. Britney says she was excited about the idea of a family with Justin, even though they were so young, but Justin was not having it and pushed for Brit to have an abortion. She says that this was the beginning of the end of their relationship. Fans have speculated that “Every Time,” is about the baby the pair could have had and not about Justin as people have speculated.
2 ) Christina Aguilera is scared. Maybe she should have been nicer.
Is anyone actually in a relationship these days? Meryl Streep is the newest celebrity to come forward and say that she has been separated from her husband Don Gummer, for more than six years. The two married in 1978.
Bravo Bravo Bravo. I can’t bring myself to watch the RHONY reunion. I just can’t.
Tinsley Mortimer IS MARRIED! Love you forever, my queen!
Nene and Cynthia are friends again!
Vanity Fair is working on a Real Housewives exposé, and I swear to god, if they ruin my shows, I will end them. RH was never supposed to be a career path! It’s a glorified docu-series about rich people! I can’t!
I miss Naomie on Southern Charm so much, but I’m happy for her.
Bethenny had an interesting dinner party.
Pretty Little Babies. Some people are pregnant, some people aren’t pregnant, some people might be pregnant?
Ashley Benson is pregnant. Her fiance, Brandon Davis, is very hot. I don’t know who he is, but good for her. I bet Cara Delevigne and G-Eazy are somewhere screaming, crying, throwing up, etc. Hopefully, this leads to Ashley and Shay Mitchell making up.
Halle Bailey might be pregnant? But also might not. It’s impossible to know.
Modern-day icon Trisha Paytas dressed up like Ice Spice and I just.
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Midtown Girl. While I did live in Hell’s Kitchen for a year, I can’t pretend to know about anything that happens in Midtown. So when I read that Ariana Grande and Spongebob were dining at the MO Lounge in the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Columbus Circle, I had to google. Rooms at the Mandarin start at $1200/night (excluding fees) if anyone is interested.
I don’t have time for this. End the strike so Ben Barnes can get a job.
Wear your favorite talk show host’s name on your underwear challenge. Bradley Cooper won.
Give it up. No one talks about nepo babies more than nepo babies talk about how much they hate being called nepo babies.
On the other hand… let the nepo babies marry and spawn nepo nepo babies. I’m loving the union between Frances Bean Cobain (daughter of Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain) and Tony Hawk’s son.
Kim Kardashian called me up and was like, “Kelley what do you want to see?” And I said, “hot guys who play sports, duh.”
What could have been… Sofia Coppola was in talks to direct the last Twilight movie, but obviously, she didn’t. She also didn’t like Barbie and doesn’t like Taylor Swift, but in a diplomatic. This is me realizing that Sofia is a pick-me.
Taylor Watch. They are busy busy busy.
1989 (Taylor’s Version) is out on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Cruel Summer” hit #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 four years after it was released with little to no traditional/public push from Taylor.
I watched the sports man’s podcast. Unemployment is really getting to me. But I did learn that their dad is a big supporter of the public library, and you know how I feel about the library. (Then their dad said a lot of really nice things about Taylor🥹.) Also, that Jason is definitely on SwiftTok.
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserTravis and Jason went to a Phillies playoff game where they drank Bud Light.
Travis bought a new house that has extra security in a gated community with a pickle ball court AND a tennis court AND a mini golf course. I have my Kansas City Correspondent™ working to get more information as we speak.
Real sports fans are telling me I shouldn’t like Brittany Mahomes because she’s cringe. And I’m like hello, have you met my friend Taylor?
Kim Kardashian posted a story with “Speak Now (TV),” and I’m so serious when I say that I need her to shut the fuck up.
Olivia Wilde is an idiot. You can’t date one of the world’s most popular male pop stars and then say shit like this. Like. Please be serious Liv.
Taylor was spotted at the LA version of Via Carota, that one sushi place in the strip mall, Sushi Park.
lol And on Sunday after Travis’s team beat the other team the couple went to Piropos in Kansas City (still waiting to hear back from my Kansas City Correspondent™, also Grace, what this restaurant is like. It has chain restaurant vibes).
Side note: I’m sick of Swifties saying that this is the first time Taylor has ever been PDA-y, just admit that you weren’t there!!!!
things I’m watching:
SNL. It wasn’t as good as the first episode, but I loved Bad Bunny is Shrek (PDD, ofc), The Age of Discovery, and Subway Platform.
I can’t wait for season 2 of Paris in Love.
I started watching Emily about Emily Bronte over the weekend when I was getting ready for my cousin’s wedding, but now I can’t finish it because I don’t have Showtime All-Access or whatever. Soooo, if someone has a pw I can borrow, let me know.
FREE NEWSLETTER FRIDAY THAT I’M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT!!
ilysm bye. <3