Les États-Unis sont Fermés!
Europe is so OVER
Shut the borders. Get Mayor Eric on the phone. We must gather every brave woman, man, child, pet, scientist, etc to fight on the front lines of the upcoming bedbug war (won’t be me tho).
Let’s do a quick brainstorm. Mandatory quarantines in plastic rooms? Hazmat suits? Lasers? Bedbug sniffing dogs at the airport? Maybe we just create New York, France for a couple years and keep everyone on the continent? I’m just throwing things out there! I’m sure there are better ideas! I need to see some action people!
things that happened in pop culture you should know about:
Let’s get it out of the way. Taylor went to the Chiefs v Jets game. She brought along Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds (my nemesis), Sabrina Carpenter, Sophie Turner, Hugh Jackman (???), Antoni from Queer Eye (???????), and probably other semi-famous people. The Chiefs won but there was a second that it could have gone the other way (also, the NFL showing Cornelia Street is a choice).
The Jets’ quarterback Zach Wilson used to hook up with his mom’s best friend. So, there were a lot of fun memes about Travis’s mom.
Football dudes are really mad.
The NFL has admitted they ran Taylor’s Eras Tour ad for free because they’re trying to convince the tall girl to perform at the Super Bowl.
The night before the game Taylor had a girl’s dinner with her squad and Brittany Mahomes at Emilio’s Ballato.
Travis Kelce’s ex Kayla Nicole, unfollowed Brittany Mahomes on Instagram.
Sophie Turner is staying at Taylor’s apartment.
Will she show up in Minnesota? Probably. I honestly don’t have time for this Taylor. There shouldn’t be pop culture news on Sundays.
Even more sports news. I’m so obsessed with this man.
I can’t take any more sports news, but something is happening with the NBA
Almost done with Taylor. Olivia Wilde shared a tweet to her IG
story that said, “I wish Taylor Swift was in love with a climate scientist,” and it’s like girl… you dated Harry Styles, which one of you is the climate scientist?
One more Taylor story. With less than three weeks until 1989 (TV), Dianna Agron is already having a terrible October.
It’s cuffing season. Allegedly.
Anya Taylor-Joy got married, and there’s a rumor floating around TikTok that her husband took her last name.
Ariana Grande and Spongebob are living together, allegedly. And Ariana is paying her ex-husband over $1 million.
Gigi Hadid and Bradley Cooper may have gone on a date? He wore a T-shirt and flannel? Men continue to be in their flop era.
Kim Zolciack and Chet Hanks have been flirting.
But the celebs will not stop breaking up. Allegedly.
Jodie Turner-Smith filed for divorce from Joshua Jackson.
Mauricio Umansky confirms that he and Kyle Richards are separated. Also, the RHOBH trailer looks amazing.
Jess and Sammy from Love Island have broken up.
FYC season is upon us. Grammy posters were released last week, and again, stan Twitter continues to not understand design principles or the purpose of media.
Movies are so big right now.
Beyonce’s Renaissance Tour will be released in theaters in December!
The Priscilla trailer is amazing. Someone check on Austin Butler.
Saltburn is getting excellent reviews.
Five sleeps until Era’s Tour Movie.
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Paramount released Mean Girls in 23 parts on TikTok in honor of October 3rd. I’ve bitched enough about how annoying and damaging it is to media literacy that random people post full-length movies/tv shows on TikTok in bite-size chunks, but it’s even more bizarre to come from a streamer?
They took it down on October 4th.
ALMOST TIME FOR PEAK REALITY TV!
Love Island Games are CONFIRMED. And everyone needs to watch Season 4 UK to prepare.
Selena Gomez will have a holiday special on Food Network in November.
The singers are still singing.
What is going on with Drake? When did he become such an incel?
Lana Del Rey has had the tour of a lifetime.
Bobbi sucks. She’s not funny. Offset carried her.
Like I said last week, Katy Perry sold her entire music catalog for like $250 million and is now a guest star on Peppa Pig. Interesting.
But don’t worry, she hasn’t quit her day job—scamming old people out of real estate.
Lesbians down. TikTok influencers Lunden (yes, that’s how you spell her name) and Olivia are canceled. Last week they got married, and while on their honeymoon, Lunden’s old racist tweets were exposed.
Irish up. They are really having a moment.
This is my kind of crime. $73,000 worth of crab legs were stolen in Philadelphia.
Christian Girl Fall is loading. Caitlin Covington hasn’t traveled to Vermont yet, but she did let us know fall is here.
This next year is going to suck, but here’s some political news.
The government almost shut down (again) but didn’t (again). Congressman Bowman (D) accidentally pulled a fire alarm during the big vote, and it’s hilarious.
Kevin McCarthy was ousted as Speaker of the House.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times—George Santos is our Princess Diana.
Dianne Feinstein died. RIP girl.
I wish more than anything Trump had just pursued a career in standup comedy.
If you don’t live in New York, you won’t care about this, and I’m sorry, but our mayor is continuing to wreak havoc on the city.
Also, it did flood. But now it’s fine. We’re fine. Most of Greenpoint probably has trench foot, but we’re fine.
And yes, rats can swim.
Platinum Forever. Delta is rethinking it’s new status rules (thank god)
Non-Bedbug-Related Paris Fashion Week Updates.
Kylie looked like THIS.
I’m still thinking about the bedbugs.
what i’m watching
The Kardashians. I don’t care about Kourtney v Kim. I care about the absolute lobotomy Khloe has had. Why is she offended by the word titties???? AND WHY is she scared of WHALES?!?!!?
RHOSLC. Mary Cosby is dragging everyone, Lisa is rich, Meredith is unhinged, and Whitney is giving Academy Award-level performances at every turn. I could not love this season more if I tried.
RHONY. You’re Losing Me.
The Golden Bachelor. I don’t watch the normal Bachelor/Bachelorette because Unreal (best TV show) ruined it for me. But they got me. I’m a sucker for old people. I start crying 10 seconds in, and don’t stop until like 10 minutes after the show ends. I made a deck to keep track of the women (spoilers from this week). I think Faith will win with Ellen and Sandra being runner-ups, but Ellen will be the next Golden Bachelorette (unless…).
Dawson’s Creek. Season 3 of Dawson’s Creek (thee greatest season of television of all-time) premiered 24 years ago and everyone should rewatch this scene that was pushed into my timeline. And then we should all read Billion-dollar Kiss: The Kiss that Saved Dawson's Creek and Other Adventures in TV Writing by Jeffrey Stepakoff.
things I like:
Tiktok failed to load.Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser
Going to Balloon Saloon on a Wednesday to buy a balloon bouquet.
The cult yoga Humming Puppy. So good.
When it doesn’t rain.
I want to paint my apartment like this.
Wearing my new uggs that are basically just crocs.
JUICY GOSSIP. GIVE ME SOME JUICY GOSSIP.
Also. Drama. I’m itching for drama. Need some chaos. I’m so bored.
things I hate:
Being too short to paint my ceiling because my ceilings are so high.
Posting on Linkedin, but hi new friends!!!!
I'm thinking about canceling all my plans to do a hair mask and watch the Beckham documentary. Want to quit your job and help me paint my ceiling? LMK! <3