Please Don't Tell Me What The Speed Force Flash Is
An Oscars recap from someone who didn't watch
Happy Day After Hollywood’s Biggest Night!
Sorry for the slight delay, but it’s not my fault. I had to do my taxes (aka I had to send in all my paperwork to my accountant so he could do my taxes) and it took a lot out of me. For a couple weeks…? Oops.
But we’re back!! With a very very very link-heavy post. Sorry in advance.
Oscars Recap From Someone Who Didn’t Watch
For the first time in over a decade (maybe longer), I didn’t watch The Academy Awards. But it actually felt like I was in the auditorium with all the celebs cause when I checked my phone at 10:46 PM I had 450+ unread texts and one voicemail from my mom that said, “Hey not sure if you’re watching but Will Smith from I, Robot just punched comedian Chris Rock. Ok. Call me later. Love you.”
Will Smith from I, Robot.
Anyways. That was wild. I don’t have any hot takes that weren’t already tweeted, so here are my top 10 moments that were overlooked.
"I switched baristas.”
Terrible, but like..inevitable?
Cancel tall people.
Ok. A mood, “if I don’t say so myself.”
Amy will be dealt with.
Things That Happened In Popular Culture You Should Know About
Bravo is giving us TWO different RHONY shows and we should be SO grateful.
Someone did standup at a movie theater and this alone is a reason to never move to California.
Caroline Calloway is unwell and owes over $40k in rent to her WV landlord. What are the extradition laws in Sarasota?
Doja Cat quit music, but now she’s back?
Hayden Panettiere got into a fight outside a bar.
Teresa Giudice got an emergency appendectomy (get well soon Tre ilysm)
Tara Reid wants to be on The Gilded Age Season 2 (listen up hbo max)
What I’m Watching
Summer House. I’m two episodes away from flying to Charleston and taking one for the team when it comes to A*sten Kr*ll. I HATE HIM.
Bridgerton. So happy to be back with my hot British friends. Not as good as season 1 but I’m having fun.
West Side Story. I tried. Three hours is too long. Ansel is too tall.
Gilmore Girls. I needed a napping show.
Other Things I Like
When one of my friend’s friends has a tweet that pops off.
Dispo, it’s how we’re taking pics this summer. Get on board.
This is a serious article about antidepressants but it’s worth a read
Some Things I Hate:
WhoWhatWear named the LLBean boat & tote the bag of the summer but I already did that last year.
People who are seriously saying goblin mode. Go away, you’re embarrassing.
Wordle has been hard recently.
When you do something you’ve been putting off for 6 months and it takes you five minutes.
As always, feel free to tweet, text, voice message, or even dm me about any of these things If you want to talk! Ok! Bye!
PS. Substack has an app now if you’d rather scroll through all your newsletters together instead of them getting lost in your promotions tab. You can download it here.
PPS. Below is all the other pop culture/TIL/random bits from the past couple of weeks!
Things That Happened In Popular Culture You Should Have Known About From One to Two Weeks Ago
Katie and Tom Schwartz from VPR are getting a divorce after being together for 10 years, and The Pioneer Woman was upset.
Pete isn’t going to space anymore.
Happy 2 years to "It’s a virus i get it I respect it.”
Kylie changed her baby boy’s name from Wolf to something else.
Grimes and Elon had a secret baby. Grimes is dating Chelsea Manning. Grimes used a fake Reddit account during the pandemic to get relationship advice in 2020…
Since the globes don’t matter anymore we have to pay attention to the BAFTAs, and a lot happened.
Millie Bobby Brown is dating Bon Jovi’s son.
The Critics Choice Awards happened too but I don’t care about them (except Selena is perfect)
My sources (twitter) are saying that Florence Pugh has been kicked out of Madonna’s Biopic Bootcamp because she got a part in Dune 2.
What I Was Watching One to Two Weeks ago
Drive To Survive. This has overtaken my life. I watched the entire first season in one sitting and had to force myself to take a break. It’s great. The drama is so good. The guys are so hot and European. Perfect for Sweet Boy Spring.
WeCrashed. I am obsessed with this show. I am only two eps in but I’m very much identifying with Anne Hathaway’s monotone existence.
Dune. When I was in 7th grade I had an English teacher who was a real B. She assigned us Dune to try to be cool but whenever she gave us a test she would go out of her way to ask us questions that weren’t covered in Cliff Notes or the original Dune movie. So it became more of a memory test than an actual test on the reading material. Anyways. I’ve tried to watch the new movie like 4 times and finally finished it. It was fine.
Other Things I Liked From One to Two Weeks ago:
My average screentime was the lowest it’s been in since 2019 (3 hours 56 min)
There are only 25 blimps in the world. Justice for dirigibles. Were blimps just more popular in the 90s??? I really thought I would travel by blimp one day.
Song of the summer. Period. (If anyone wants to go to Baby’s All Right with me on May 6th and potentially see Chicken Shop girl, LMK.)
A bar with pretentious waitstaff
Granola. Specifically the blueberry Wegmans brand one.
Some Things I Hate:
ALLERGIES. WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN TO ME SPECIFICALLY.
I have 7 disposable cameras from the past 8 years I need to get developed and I’m terrified of what’s on them
track1099.com
Nutpods coffee creamer. Unsweetened almond milk is just soap.
I can’t figure out how to center things properly in substack
Caper jars are TOO SMALL. A utensil that’s small enough to scoop out enough capers does not exist.
“You guys” culture is being threatened and idk what I’m going to do. (cancel me)
When people misspell lose as loose
OK BYE! FOR REAL!