The Enemy of My Enemy Is Meatball Ron
And he is also my enemy!
Hi :)
things I like and want to talk about:
valentine’s day. I love candy! I love things shaped like hearts! I love pink! I love red! I love pink and red candy shaped like hearts!
firing up streeteasy. In an alternate reality I’m a very successful New York City broker. But unfortunately, that wouldn’t be possible in our present day because I hate answering emails. Instead, I spend my time sending a million listings to anyone who’s moving the second they’re posted. (Don’t worry, I’m not moving. Crown Heights 4ever.)
kelsea ballerini. I wouldn’t consider myself a big kb fan, but on Valentine’s Day she released an EP about her divorce from fellow country star Morgan Evans. And while a divorce/break-up/takedown album is pretty expected in country music, this one feels different. Nothing diabolical happened in their relationship (as far as we know), they aren’t screaming infidelity—they simply wanted different things. Obviously, that’s not revolutionary. It happens all the time in real life, but I’m not sure I’ve ever heard an entire album about it? The callousness of a relationship ending just because you’ve fallen out of love? Chilling. It’s also Kelsea’s best lyrics, the best she’s ever sounded, and maybe the best she’s ever looked. (I love when they fight via song.)
central cee. My (second, maybe third) favorite UK rapper, Central Cee, was on Chicken Shop Date. For the past sixish months he was RUMORED to be dating my (second, maybe third) favorite UK TikToker, Madeline Argy, but on the date he said he was single. This isn’t super surprising because they’ve had a tumultuous relationship where they’re constantly unfollowing each other on instagram. But they’re very tall, very cute, and I like them. I hope they can figure it out because I can’t handle another “celebrity” breakup right now.
going to the spa on a friday night. Peak luxury.
caroline calloway is BACK. CC and I have had our ups and downs over the years, but I have always admired her commitment to the bit. The Vice doc felt honest and relatable. She drew me back in with her awkward charisma and artistic eccentricities. Sorry! I’m easy! And I love the Caro Card I got myself for Christmas. My only critique is that it should have been twice as long.
daisy jones & the six. I just can’t wait to watch it.
things I don’t like and don’t want to talk about:
the super bowl and ads. Cool, you hated it. Cool, you loved it. I’m so sad/happy for you.
taking your dog to the vet. It’s the same as going to the doctor, but with the added feeling of GUILT because now my dog is sad! And I can’t even give her a treat because the vet said she could lose a “few” pounds! Everyone say, “sorry Lily.” :(
gen z puritan values. The kids are not alright, in fact, the kids are very annoying.
microsoft powerpoint. I’m a creative and you’re asking me to work on this nerd platform? Do I have to explain the high school hierarchy of an ad agency? Simply think about what you’re asking me to do right now.
getting a car towed by the nypd. I don’t have the mental or emotional fortitude to get into this at this time. Thanks <3
things that happened in pop culture:
MEGAN FOX BROKE UP WITH THAT MAN. Allegedly, he cheated on her with someone in his band. I hate him sm.
New Lana. The closest thing we have to American royalty <3
Whitney Port and Kelly Cutrone went to a fashion week event together.
Pharrell is going to be the new Creative Director at Louis Vuitton.
The Wall Street Journal was all like, “Want to save money? Stop eating.
RE: Want to know how you’re going to die? There was a lot of online chatter and articles about this AI bot called Bing and how it wants to be a real boy who will definitely try to kill you. This is what happens when you let nerds be in charge.
Julia Fox is doing a lot at NYFW, but I’m honestly not keeping up. I’m sorry. That’s on me.
The Brits happened and there’s nothing for me to say.
RE: British people. Florence Pugh has NOT joined The Sally Roo-niverse Polycule™. She was spotted holding hands with a man named Gooch.
RE: Miss Flo. She was quoted in the Vanity Fair piece saying that Timothee Chalamet is our Leonardo DiCaprio. And when we take into consideration that he caused a chlamydia outbreak at the NYU dorms in 2018—I have no argument.
RE: Miss Flo’s enemy is also my enemy. Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis are being sued by their ex-nanny for “anxiety.” Can you sue anyone for anything now??
RE: This woman, I swear. Olivia Wilde continues to be beyond embarrassing.
Ryan Seacrest is leaving Live with Kelly and Ryan :( but Kelly’s husband Mark Consuelos is, allegedly, going to become the new cohost.
Chris Brown has made multiple headlines, and why?
Caleb Pressley had Drake (and his son) on Sundae Conversations. I LOLOLed.
Steven Spielberg told Tom Cruise he saved Hollywood and I wept.
John Boyega just found out about international menace, Ezra Miller’s crimes.
Instagram is deprioritizing reels.
There’s a lot of UFO things happening.
Elon has completely reworked the twitter algorithm so now his tweets show up in everyone’s feeds.
tweets I liked:
TGIF! I’m going to the spa.