Yesterday Was My Birthday
And now it's over.
Did you read that right? Yesterday was my birthday. Some of you may be asking, “Kelley, as someone who is obsessed with their birthday, did you start a newsletter just so you could send one out and shame people for not wishing you happy birthday?” And I would say, “As someone who loves their birthday, what if I did!? Sue me!!!!!”
a personal problem
I don’t have many parasocial relationships with celebrities. *Pauses for laughter.* Stop laughing! It’s the truth! While I love the drama and I LOVE the gossip, I don’t usually love them. I could take or leave a majority of celebrities except a very very select few, like Selena Gomez, Molly Mae, Jenny Slate, and Martha Stewart. And even fewer celebrity couples—off the top of my head I can only think of two.
The first is the greatest love story our generation has ever known: Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. No, I don’t really feel like elaborating right now.
The second is Phoebe Bridgers and Paul Mescal*, which is a little strange because I wouldn’t describe myself as a fan of either. I like Phoebe’s music and have seen her in concert, but I wouldn’t say I’m a big fan (her real fans are very scary). And while I’ve read the book, I’ve never seen Normal People. I know. I KNOW.
*Ok… now that I’m thinking about it, I am noticing a trend… Weird blonde girl and hot non-American man? Much to unpack here, sorry just realizing this as I’m typing…
It kills me they couldn’t make it work.
I’m telling you all of this to say that I almost canceled my birthday party because I saw this tweet and got upset (again) about Phoebe dating Bo Burnham. And Paul is out here being the hottest man alive while also posting selfies with Daisy Edgar-Jones on his secret Instagram.
things that happened in pop culture you should know about:
Single Soon is the song of the summer. Yet again, Selena, thank you. We owe you so much.
Of course Taylor Swift is a person who uses “methinks” in normal conversation. Of course she is.
Jack Antonoff looked like Peter Pan at his own wedding. I want the twitter menswear account to rip him apart. His pants are tucked INTO his socks. Or there are elastic on the pants. I don’t know which is worse.
Ariana Grande’s ex was spotted in public looking sad (a real TMZ headline)
Unfortunately, Trump was giving Lindsay Lohan strawberry blonde realness in his mugshot.
RE: Politicians being iconic. Amy. What is happening. I’m obsessed. Continue.
RE: Politician’s children are the future. Sasha and Malia were spotted leaving a party thrown by Drake in LA.
Everyone (Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, Ariana Grande, Carly Rae Jepsen, Idina Menzel, etc.) broke up with Scooter Braun.
They will never turn down an event Riverdale ended its triumphant run as the most “wtf” show on television by having Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead be in a quad relationship.
Rihanna gave birth to her second son.
A Russian spacecraft meant to land on the moon ended up crashing… *puts on my conspiracy hat* Interesting…
Samantha Jones was back on AJLT for juuuust over a minute.
Bob Barker died.
Eras has made it to Mexico with Sabrina Carpenter opening. Yes, she’s changing the Nonsense outro every night. Our pop princess.
Taylor performed “Sweet Nothing,” “IFTYE,” “Tell Me Why,” “Snow On The Beach,” “Cornelia Street (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!),” “You’re On Your Own Kid,” “Afterglow, and “Maroon” as surprise songs in Mexico. Yea. I’m freaking out.
You simply must open this tweet. I just.
things I did
If you’re in New York right now, I recommend stopping by thnk1994’s Museum of Smoking exhibit at 2 Rivington.
things i’m watching
It was my birthday week, so I didn’t have time to watch anything.
things i’m reading
Remarkably Bright Creatures. I have to finish this before book club tomorrow. Not sure I’m going to be able to do it.
Still thinking about Hunger Games. If you have been thinking about rereading it, you should, and let’s talk about it.
things I like
My birthday.
Playing Phase 10.
Conveniently forgetting things that happen.
Being a virgo.
BYE FOR NOW! <3