Lifestyles of the Nepo and the Baby
They're always complainin' 🎶
HELLO!
Are you done with work? I hope you’re done with work! My wish for you is that you’re done with work.
Yes, so you can relax. Oh, you’re going to use this time to detox from your phone? Interesting. Of course, you simply must spend time with your family, I get it!! BUT! What if, stay with me, you spend all your free time talking to ME about celebrities?? Sounds fun, right?!
Because, my dear friend, let me be honest. Recently I’ve been Depressed, with a capital D. So depressed that I literally screamed when I saw Vulture’s Nepo Baby cover and almost tweeted, “this could change the world.” And you know what? Maybe it has.
before everyone’s nepo baby think pieces come out, these are my thoughts:
You can read the full article here. It really is fascinating. Give it a Pulitzer.
What is a Nepo Baby? Someone who has famous (or famous-adjacent) family (or friend)s who have opened doors for them that wouldn’t be opened for a normal girl from Colorado Springs whose parents are an engineer and nurse.
Why do we care? I’m not really sure. I assumed that for millennials+ it was common knowledge that everyone in Hollywood is related. Or I guess I assumed that everyone was just like that normal girl from Colorado Springs who read Perez Hilton (Not a Nepo Baby) religiously for fifteen years. But, shockingly, I was wrong. The pop culture landscape has drastically changed since I was waking up at 6 am to scroll that bubble gum pink website and see what Perez had drawn on Lindsay Lohan (Not a Nepo Baby). Now without “reliable” gossip sites, tiktoks from anyone who claims to have discovered something about a celebrity can go viral, getting millions of views and inspire a Vulture article.
(Remember when Kylie predicted the future with ~*realizing things*~)
Why are people mad at Vulture? Because they didn’t expose nepotism across every high-status career (ie. business, politics, etc).
That’s weird. Isn’t Vulture more of a pop culture site? Of course there’s nepotism in every powerful industry? Yes, you’re right. Vulture is know for “devouring culture.” And yes, you’re right again. Obviously, nepotism seeps into every aspect of our life (including journalism, yikes). Nepotism isn’t new.
Ok…Where did that argument even come from? This was a move taken directly from a “break in case of emergency” case locked away in Kris Jenner’s (Not a Nepo Baby, but maybe a Nepo Mommy?) Calabasas office.
That’s right. While I can’t prove it, the first I saw of this argument came from the mouth of a very nepo Nepo Baby.
Lily (Nepo Baby: dad is an actor, mom is a movie producer, brother is Alfie from GOT, goddaughter of a Scottish singer, and third-cousin of Sam Smith). My sweet girl. It is your business? This is a very weird. Nepotism in business and politics isn’t some highly guarded secret. We’re dealing with El*n (the loudest and most grating Nepo Baby of them all, emphasis on BABY) on a daily basis. We had two presidents with the last name Bush (Legacy Nepo Daddy and Nepo Baby). The British Royal Family (I think they invented nepotism) is literally still a thing… The difference is that in other fields people aren’t necessarily looking for celebrity or to be accepted by the masses… Ok, so all of my examples are, but you know what I mean! We’ve seen Succession (I have only seen season three)! Let us have fun Lil!
This entire situation could have been avoided if Lily-Rose (Nepo baby: dad is Johnny Depp, mom is Vanessa Paradis) hadn’t so vehemently scoffed at the idea of being referred to as a Nepo Baby. Her comments sparked outrage amongst the models and caught the attention of the TikTokers, creating a perfect way for Vulture to end their year. A beautiful “hit” piece.
What are your thoughts, normal girl from Colorado Springs? Tysm for asking! Like most of the internet, I am enjoying this. It forces people to acknowledge that sometimes people do have easier experiences, but if you have actual talent that will (usually) outweigh your Nepo Baby-ness. Again, I highly recommend reading the article, it has so many thoughts on mediocrity and lessons relating to media literacy that are frustrating yet fascinating to think about.
Do you know who this tucked-in blind item is about?
The casting director puts it bluntly: “A lot of the children of famous people are not good.” How often are they meeting with them? “God, there have been so many over the course of my life.” They once met with an aspiring actress who was the daughter of two movie stars. “There was something else that walked in the room with her,” they say. “Like, ‘My parents are famous, and I’m here because somebody told me to meet you.’ A lovely person but definitely a sense of entitlement. She left, and I was like, That person doesn’t excite me. The struggle isn’t there.” This is not always a deal-breaker. Afterward, the daughter booked the role that made her a household name.
My gut reaction is Dakota Johnson (Queen Nepo Baby: mom is Melanie Griffith, dad is Don Johnson). :)
pop culture news about nepo babies you should know about:
I HATE this news. Phoebe Bridgers (Nepo Baby: dad is a set designer—bit of a stretch if we’re rating on the Nepo Baby scale) has allegedly broken up with Paul Mescal (Not a Nepo Baby) to date Bo Burnham (Not a Nepo Baby, but his mom was featured on an episode of This American Life). I don’t personally “get” Bo Burnham, so I’m not a fan of this. But I’m also not surprised because I haven’t forgotten the photo of Paul and Daisy Edgar-Jones (Nepo Baby: mom is a film editor, dad is a head of entertainment at Sky UK Arts) dressed in a couples costume for Halloween. Brb. Gonna listen to Sidelines on repeat for a few hours.
RE: Phoebe continues to break my heart. Matty Healy (Nepo Baby: mom is Denise Welch, dad is Tim Healy) kissed Phoebe in front of Bo Burnham, FUELING THE BREAK UP RUMORS.
RE: The Sally Rooney (Not a Nepo Baby) Cinematic Universe. Joe Alwyn (Nepo Boyfriend: girlfriend is Taylor Swift), Paul Mescal (again, not a Nepo Baby), and Andrew Scott (Not a Nepo Baby) are in a group chat called “Tortured Man Club.” And I guess Andrew sends good morning texts every day.
I know I’m not talking about them anymore, but this made me laugh out loud. Obviously, Khloe is a Nepo Sibling and maybe a Nepo Baby-lite. We already decided that Kris is a Nepo Mommy and maybe a Nepo Wifey? And OJ is not a Nepo Baby, just a murderer (allegedly).
Drew Barrymore (there’s a big argument about whether or not Drew is a Nepo Baby, because while she is from an “acting family,” her parents weren’t successful. Much to consider.) and Aubrey Plaza (Not a Nepo Baby) had an interview, coincidentally, about being babies.
Live like Jesus (Holy Nepo Baby: dad is god).
El*n (again, the loudest and most grating Nepo Baby of them all: mom is a supermodel and dad owns emerald mines) is single-handedly destroying all of his companies and it’s a beautiful sight to see.
Steve Aoki (Nepo Baby: dad owns Benihana) is allegedly going to space.
Cecily Strong (Maybe a Nepo Baby? Her dad owns a PR firm) quit SNL.
pop culture news about babies who don’t have famous parents that I could find on google:
Lana Del Rey (Not a Nepo Baby, but her dad was a copywriter and her mom was an account director and they met at Grey which is cute) has one billboard for her new album, and it’s in Tulsa, OK. Where her cop ex-boyfriend lives. Petty queen.
Greta Gerwig (Not a Nepo Baby) finally released a teaser for Barbie, and it’s not dramatic to say this movie will change the course of history.
TikTok darling Alix Earle (Not a Nepo Baby…as far as we know) broke up with idiot MLB player Tyler Wade (Not a Nepo baby, not bolding him). Allegedly he hated her influencing and then didn’t get her anything for her birthday after she got him a Louis Vuitton (Nepo Artisan) briefcase less than a month ago. Send him to the stocks.
PF Changs has aligned themselves with Alix There’s a bird nesting in the “S” of the Sony building and it’s shitting everywhere.
Lea Michele (Not a Nepo baby, but a theater kid which feels similar) was spotted at Rosie’s where allegedly, the waitress had to read her the menu. The source is Deux Moi. I’d love to believe this, but why wouldn’t she just have the person she’s with read the menu to her??????? Whatever. We’ll just have fun with it!!!!!
Drake (Not a Nepo Baby) lost $1,000,000 on a World Cup bet.
I learned a LOT about Messi (Not a Nepo Baby) this week. He won the World Cup. Congrats! He really is one in a million!
I saw this site about Ben Marshall (Not a Nepo Baby) from Please Do Not Destroy and it is very funny. Yes, the other two are mega SNL Nepo Babies.
things from my phone that have nothing to do with nepo babies:
things I like:
2023 predictions from my favs (ok, Pat’s is a resolution list, whatever!)
Christmas tree ambiance
White wine in the winter apparently.
It’s very hard for me to think of anything right now.
Sighing dramatically.
things I hate:
Hockey tickets are SO expensive. Dear god.
The people are saying that Gen Z just “discovered” Zoolander.
Hanging up garland. I’m struggling.
When I think I’m using an idiom right, but then I get in my head about it and wonder if I’ve been using the idiom wrong my whole life. I googled “change the course of history” like three times.
Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve had to think for one of these! Anyways. Hope you had fun. I did. See you all in the DMs :) Happy Holidays!
Lily Allen responded and I’m still not sure what her argument is: https://twitter.com/popcrave/status/1605236618679533568?s=46&t=eP5XZHouwdk8KLS5ooHlEw